Ever wonder just how the Left can get away with destroying 248 years of American culture, our form of government, our achievements, our national security, and our personal freedoms, and still make a large segment of our society believe that it’s the fault of capitalism, Republicans, Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, or anyone other than themselves?  I finally figured it out.  It’s magic.  All magic is, when you boil it down, is sleight of hand – misdirection.  The magician gets you to look this way, while he’s doing something else you don’t notice.  There’s another apt analogy.  Just for the record, we  should avoid memes comparing Democrats to the devil at all costs.  So here’s another one.  Remember the Al Pacino movie, The Devil’s Advocate?   In it, Pacino plays John Milton, a/k/a Satan.  Milton tells his son, “Guilt – it’s like a bag of f***in’ bricks.  All you gotta do is set it down….Who are you carrying all those bricks for anyway?  God?  Is that it? God?  Well, I tell ya, let me give you a little inside information about God.  God likes to watch.  He’s a prankster.  Think about it.  He gives man instincts.  He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do?  I swear, for His own amusement, His own private cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition.  It’s the goof of all time.  Look, but don’t touch. Touch, but don’t taste.  Taste, don’t swallow.  And while you’re jumpin’ from one foot to the next, what is He doin’? He’s laughin’ His sick, f***in’ ass off.”  It’s all part of the magic trick.  Distract the people from what you’re really up to.  Although they’re doing nothing wrong, make them feel guilty.  One more analogy.  Last one.  I promise.  In Chicago, shyster lawyer Billy Flynn sings Razzle Dazzle, “Give ’em the old three ring circus, stun and stagger ’em.  When you’re in trouble, go into your dance.  Though you are stiffer than a girder, they let ya get away with a murder.”  Where am I going with this?  I’ll tell you.  Speech codes.  The Word Police.  The people who never tire of insisting that you must conform your language to their arbitrary and nonsensical standards.  The people who would gladly cancel, draw and quarter you for dropping an errant pronoun.  You know, Leftist morons.  I’ve dealt with this issue before on these pages, in Freedom of Suppress (7/2/21, see the archive below).  That article dealt with the speech code of Brandeis University, which was ironic and tragic because Louis Brandeis was a champion of free speech.  The university was pushing a speech code, which compiled an Oppressive Language List, that declared words such as “picnic” unacceptable, for being associated with lynchings of Black people.  Brandeis suggested “outdoor eating” instead.  “Off the reservation” was disapproved, in favor of “disagree with the group.”  It might trigger Native Americans.  Then again, “trigger warning” was also taboo, because the word “trigger” might be connected to guns.  For the record, it’s alright to be triggered, so long as you don’t say “trigger.” Clear?  The words “you guys,” “ladies and gentlemen,” or even “she” or “he,” were disapproved for suggesting that there are only two genders.  Brandeis preferred words such as “Y’all,” “folks” or “folx” (which isn’t even a real word).  But why dwell on vocabulary?  When you’re righting imaginary wrongs, only an imaginary word will do.  What got me off on this kick?  They’re at it again, but this time even stupider.  Something called the European Union’s Institute for Gender Equality is now attacking, as one of its highest priorities, wait for it – the 58 year old opening theme to the TV series Star Trek.  I shit you not.  We all remember the opening –

“Space:  the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.  Its 5-year mission:  to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no Man has gone before.” 

No, it’s not the split infinitive that’s the crime here, it’s that offensive word.  Dare I say it?  No, it’s too painful!  Okay, okay, it’s the word “Man” that has the EU’s speech police agency’s knickers in a twist.  Their 61-page toolkit on gender-sensitive communication has flagged Star Trek for one of the most egregious speech crimes ever conceived in the mind of a loony Leftist, insufficient inclusivity.  They claim the word “Man” in the opening omits or excludes women, which is not only dumb, but also indisputably wrong.  The reference to “Man” had nothing to do with gender, but instead was a reference to the definition of the word which means now, just as it did in 1966, “humankind.”  Plus, anyone who’s ever actually seen the series or the franchise knows that it pioneered the inclusion of women in positions of authority.  But the damage is done.  They’ve now triggered (there’s that word again) the nearly 93 year old actor who played James Tiberius Kirk all those years ago, William Shatner.  And Shatner’s not buying the bullshit.  He hit back on social media. “Presentism at work yet again.  Why start at Trek?  Isn’t it better to start at the beginning and redo foundation material such as the Magna Carta, religious writings, works of Shakespeare before worrying about a silly TV show opening that reflects social commentary of the time?  If people are offended by 6 seconds of dialogue recorded in 1966 without a modicum of understanding of the social issues at the time there’s bigger issues that they need to deal with first – like educating themselves.”  Bravo Bill.  The only good thing about getting old is being free to tell insane progressives to go shit in their hats.  The EU has a list of “good” and “bad” words, like that of Brandeis. 

BAD                                    GOOD
Bossy or pushy                  Assertive
Loose                                  Having sexual confidence
Emotional or hormonal  Passionate, enthusiastic
Ditzy                                    Silly
Frigid                                  Lacking sexual responsiveness
Frumpy                              Dowdy and old-fashioned
Shrill                                  High-pitched, grating voice
Hysterical                          Irrational
Makes sense.  What woman possibly could take offense at being called dowdy, grating, and irrational?  Give me a break.  And the Institute for Gender Equality isn’t just coming after language.  They’ve also got a paper about “energy poverty,” which decries the “gender aspects of the rising cost of living and the impact of the energy crisis.”  Huh?  When women buy gasoline and food, do they get charged more than men?  If you don’t understand this, don’t feel bad.  They don’t either.  They say energy poverty is one of the key contributors to widening inequality, “to what extent, we hardly know.”  It puts me in mind of the joke about the New York Times headline the day before the apocalypse, World Ends Tomorrow:  Women and Minorities Hardest Hit.  Which brings us back around to the original theme.  None of the supposed outrage of the Left over speech is real.  It’s a magician’s trick.  While you’re busy jumping from one foot to the other trying to find the acceptable words, they’re hard at work stealing your freedom. As for myself, I believe in speaking plainly, so I won’t take advantage of the speech code and say progressives are experiencing a modicum of intestinal distress.  They’re simply full of shit.