Harry Truman used to call himself a “light-foot Baptist,” that is, a Baptist who was perhaps not as devout as some other Baptists.  By that definition, I don’t think I’d qualify as even a “light-foot Catholic.”  I guess I’d be more of an amputee Catholic, because I’ve pretty much been cut off from the faith for many years.  It wasn’t for lack of trying. As a kid, we went to church, went to Sunday school, and made communion and confirmation.  I understood the Catholic doctrine, but I could never buy into it.  You see, I am doubly damned with both a  highly developed ability to determine when something makes sense and when it doesn’t, and a good memory.  Some will tell you that it’s not supposed to make sense.  Faith is belief in things unseen, right?  The Second Century theologian Tertullian, when asked why he was willing to believe stories of miracles, is quoted as responding, “Credo quia absurdum,” which has been translated variously as “It is so extraordinary that it must be true” or “I believe, because it is absurd.”  I prefer the second translation.  Catholic doctrine is just too schizophrenic for my taste.  I understand the carrot and the stick, but really!  Jesus suffered the little children to come unto him, he turned the other cheek, and preached love and forgiveness.  On the other hand, “You ate meat during Lent?  Burn in Hell!”  You missed Mass one Sunday?  Burn in Hell!”  Masturbation?  Yep, that’s a mortal sin, so Hell’s really going to be crowded.  Then there’s the infallibility thing.  The Church sets itself up as the one source of supposed truth on every subject, which now that I think of it, is exactly how liberals treat us, which probably explains why the Council of Bishops is more like the Council of Bolsheviks, and the Maryknolls are no holds barred Commies.  Infallibility is supposed to extend only to matters of faith, but the Church, much like our federal government, has expanded its reach.  The Catholic Church was primarily responsible for the Dark Ages, and no matter how dark it got, the Church just kept pulling down the shades.  Then, when the light went back on just before the Renaissance, that light was coming from the pyres of heretics being “purified” by the Inquisition.  Poor Galileo had to burn in Hell for over 400 years before the Church admitted that the Earth actually may revolve around the Sun, and finally sprung him.  No, change does not come very fast for the Catholic Church, and I’m afraid their time may be running out.  What, you may  ask, has set me off on this rant at this particular time?  Well, my wife and I went to the Shore last weekend, and I went to church with her.  Normally, as an amputated Catholic, I avoid Mass at all costs, except for Christmas, Easter, and the occasional wedding or funeral.  But I went this week, and was treated to a stunningly insulting performance by the priest who celebrated the Mass.   Now, as I do not often attend Church, I do not pretend to be an authority on homilies, but even my wife panned this one.  The Celebrant of the Mass was a Senior Priest, which is redundant, because one would be hard put to find many priests under the age of 65.  This one was 79 years old, and from the start of the Mass, and up through the Gospel, he was moving along so rapidly that he had my admiration.  Unfortunately, he then began his homily, which was both infuriating and incomprehensible.  Whenever a priest starts out with, “I don’t often discuss politics, but …” you know you are in trouble.  Although he doesn’t often discuss politics, this priest chose two hot issues for his lecture – DACA and gun laws.  (Parenthetically, Tertullian also is credited with the saying, “out of the frying pan into the fire”).  The priest’s DACA comments were the infuriating portion of his homily.  He declared that he was old enough (no lie there) to remember when the DACA people arrived in the U.S., and said that because we gave them jobs, and other things, the government now had no right to make them leave.  Apparently, the facts that the President isn’t making them  leave, and that they would be legalized tomorrow if only the Democrats would agree to reasonable immigration laws to prevent a recurrence of this problem was lost on the Father.  Immediately, the parishioners turned ugly.  This surprised me.  I was angry, sure, but I’m a heathen, and I  was able to restrain myself from commenting.  The rest of the crowd were not “sometimes” Catholics.  This church is in a town known as the Irish Riviera, the regular parishioners never miss a Mass, and these people were pissed.  The “we gave them other things” comment prompted a woman on my right to loudly blurt, “Yeah, food stamps.”  There was perceptible discontented murmuring throughout the room.  The priest rambled on and on, making little discernible sense.  His point, if there was one, was either, “two wrongs do make a right,” “no illegal alien should be expected to obey our laws,” or “don’t render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s; tell Caesar what he must render unto you.”  By the time he transitioned into his gun law comments, or at least I think he did, no one could follow them.  When the homily mercifully ended, an elderly gentleman behind me asked his wife, “Did you understand one thing that jerk said?”  This was a tough crowd.  Getting back to old Tertullian, he also said, “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church.”  As we walked out, I knew how the martyrs must have felt.  We could dismiss this priest as out of touch with the real world, but I think senility had a lot to do with it too.  Which is the point of this rant.  In 1970, the average age for all priests was 35, today it is approaching 65.  I hear that the Pope is considering allowing priests to marry.  This is an innovation which can no longer be delayed.   The Catholic Church is sorely in need of new blood.  If it is to survive, change must come.