Louis Brandeis was a giant of the law. An ardent fighter for civil rights, Brandeis was the first Jewish member of the U.S. Supreme Court, where he served from 1919 to 1939. He was an unflagging advocate of free speech, and his writings are among the best known and most quoted. Here are some notable Brandeis quotes. “If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.” “Behind every argument is someone’s ignorance.” “Sunshine is the best disinfectant.” On the issue of free speech Brandeis was without peer. “In the frank expression of conflicting opinion lies the greatest promise of wisdom in governmental action, and in suppression lies ordinarily the greatest peril.” Perhaps his most famous writing on free speech came in his 1927 opinion in Whitney v. California, “Fear of serious injury cannot alone justify suppression of free speech and assembly. Men feared witches and burnt women. It is the function of speech to free men from the bondage of irrational fears. To justify suppression of free speech, there must be reasonable ground to fear that serious evil will result if free speech is practiced. There must be reasonable ground to believe that the danger apprehended is imminent. There must be reasonable ground to believe that the evil to be prevented is a serious one.” Brandeis created what has become known as “the counter-speech doctrine,” “If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence. Only an emergency can justify repression.” This model, of universities as centers for debate and discussion long prevailed. Chief Justice Earl Warren issued a ringing endorsement of academic freedom, “The essentiality of freedom in the community of American universities is almost self-evident. Scholarship cannot flourish in an atmosphere of suspicion and distrust.” Sadly, the advent of Progressive/Woke idiocy and the cancel culture has polluted the free and fresh atmosphere of the college campus. Speech codes abound on campus, and that spinning sound you hear is coming from Louis Brandeis’ grave, because Brandeis University, named for that champion of free speech, has issued what it calls its “Oppressive Language List,” which seeks to replace ordinary words with words more acceptable to fragile snowflakes. To paraphrase Macbeth, the Brandeis List is a tale told by an idiot, full of meaningless pablum, signifying nothing. Here are some of the lowlights. The word “picnic” is unacceptable, having been associated with lynchings of Black people, during which white spectators were said to have watched while eating. Brandeis suggests “outdoor eating” instead. Really? Even if this is true, would anybody know it if Brandeis hadn’t printed it? And why doesn’t “outdoor eating” invoke the same image? You’d think the objectionable word would be “lynching,” but strangely, that word’s not on the List. I guess it’s part of the cultural divide, when I think of picnickers watching people being killed I’m reminded of the white folks (“folks” is acceptable, see below) who picnicked at the first Battle of Bull Run, and got to watch other white folks kill one another in an effort to end slavery. “Trigger warning” is also out, because the word “trigger” has connections to guns for many people. This one’s understandable. When they think of guns, they think of the Second Amendment to the Constitution, and remember that they hate the Constitution. Strangely, when I hear “trigger” I only think of Roy Rogers’ horse. The term “off the reservation” is disapproved. Brandeis suggests “disagree with the group” or “defect from the group.” This one is a mixed bag. If Indians leave the reservation, they’re no longer under the control of Great White Father. On the other hand, the word “defect” itself is problematic. Communists defect to the U.S., which might give some the impression that America isn’t the oppressive Hellhole snowflakes have been taught to believe it is. One shouldn’t say, “you guys,” “ladies and gentlemen,” or even “she” or “he,” as these words perpetuate the notion that there are only two genders. Thus, when Lou Costello said, “Ma’am/Sir, you gotta be one or the other” he was wrong. Brandeis prefers gender inclusive language such as “Y’all,” “folks” or “folx.” This is a tough one. “Y’all” sounds like something a Trump supporter might say, so that can’t be soothing. “Folks” I get. Il Duce Obama always said “folks” so it’s OK. “Folx” on the other hand is a word I’ve never heard, and it seemingly runs afoul of the List’s own prohibition on the use of broken English. Think “African-American” is a safe term? Think again. The List scolds us that “not all Black people are from Africa or America.” And notice I capitalized “Black.” That’s the acceptable usage. The lower case, “black,” is unacceptable. Why? Don’t ask. Because we said so. The Brandeis List also targets (can I say “target?”) abelist words. Don’t know what “abelist” means? Don’t feel bad, nobody else does either. Ableist language contributes to stigmas about and trivializes the experiences of people with physical and mental health conditions. Clear now? So don’t say, “crazy,” “insane,” “wild,” or “lame.” Instead of “walk in,” Brandeis suggests “drop in,” although this seemingly offends the epileptic community. For this reason, the word “bananas” is also out. It not only offends the insane community, which comprises nearly all of the Left, but also has ugly racial overtones. When bananas go bad they turn black. This associates blackness with spoliation and decay, which is offensive. Then again, if you use “black” and not “Black” maybe it just refers to the, you should pardon the expression, “fruit” and not the race. That was a close one. “Committed suicide” is out as it implies judgment about suicidality, and offends the suicidal community. I’d say, “Kill me now!” but alas, that’s also on the naughty List. The List also disapproves of “language that doesn’t say what we mean.” Which raises the question, how the Hell do they know what we mean? You shouldn’t say, “Everything going on right now.” You should name specifically what you’re referring to, like “police brutality.” I agree with that idea. How’s this, “the Brandeis List is unconstitutional bullshit.” Much better. In fact I’ve formulated my own language suggestions. “College President” is misleading, as it denotes one in charge of imparting knowledge to students by encouraging a free and open exchange of ideas and opinions. A better alternative, “Sniveling Weakling” as in, one who lives in fear of uttering the wrong word, thus provoking the little bastards in his charge to call for his head. I would replace “Stupid” with “paying Brandeis University $75,000 a year to warp your kid’s mind.” “Activist” – “Irritant.” “Celebrity” – “Ignoramus.” “Progressive” – “Miserable.” “Kaepernick” – “Who?” I close with one more quote from Justice Brandeis, “The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in the insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning but without understanding.” Sadly, his namesake university disapproves of this statement. You can’t say “men.”
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