The late, great Jimmy Breslin once wrote a book entitled The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight, which chronicled the exploits of a dysfunctional organized crime family in New York.  The book was made into a movie, featuring a young Robert DeNiro (before he became the under-educated, overpaid, foul-mouthed cafone he is today).  Currently, the House of Representatives is in the hands of an even more dysfunctional group of organized criminals, who falsely call themselves “Democrats.”  This Washington-based organized crime family is even more screwed-up than than the one Jimmy Breslin described.  The Democrats could fairly be called The Gang That Couldn’t Lie Straight, or how about La Cosa Stupid, LCS for short?  LCS was poised to retain the presidency in 2016.  They had a popular out-going president in Il Duce Obama, and they nominated Don Hillary to be their new Ladra di Tutti Ladre (that’s thief of all thieves). All they had to do was to beat a brash, amateur politician, who was ridiculed by all the experts, and who lacked support even among the leaders of his own Party.  LCS pulled out all the stops.  Their media employees denounced Trump around the clock.  Remember The Godfather, “We have newspaper people on the payroll, don’t we Tom?”  But that wasn’t good enough.  LCS used the CIA and the FBI to try to fix the election, and to create an “insurance policy” in the unlikely event that Donald Trump actually won.  Don Hillary sent her button men to Ukraine to dig up dirt on Paul Manafort, to be used to affect the 2016 election. (Sound familiar?).  Then Don Hillary hired a company (Fusion GPS) to get a foreign intelligence officer (Christopher Steele) to pay some Russian intelligence operatives for a pack of lies, later called the Steele Dossier.  (I thought it was wrong, nay impeachable, to use foreign officials to affect a U.S. election).  Then LCS got John Brennan and his CIA to use diplomats and foreign intelligence operatives from Italy, Malta, Great Britain and Australia to entrap George Papadopolous, allowing them to begin an investigation of him, and then used the lying Steele Dossier to get authorization from the FISA Court to conduct electronic surveillance on  Carter Page, on the Trump campaign, and on the Trump Administration after the election.  LCS used the FBI in the plot.  They induced the FISA Court to go along by simply lying; Comey, Rosenstein, and Sally Yates swore the dossier was verified, when it wasn’t.  Then James Comey went to President Trump and told him one truth and one lie; “The dossier is salacious and unverified,” and “You are not the subject of a criminal investigation.”  Trump caught on to Comey and fired him.  Enter Bob Mueller.  Co-conspirator Rosenstein brought Mueller to Trump to interview as Comey’s replacement.  The perfect choice if you want to enforce the FBI Code of Silence.  Trump says Mueller wanted the job, Mueller’s assistant confirms that, but Mueller testified before the Congress that he didn’t interview for the job.  The next day, he’s appointed Special Counsel.  Nearly two years of reshuffling the LCS lies, and Mueller’s investigation came to nothing.  Fear not.  LCS moved on to impeachment.  On what evidence?  We don’t need no stinkin’ evidence.  Congressman Al Green, he of the hair so greasy that his scalp could be fracked, has been trying to impeach Trump since January 2017.  Green usually lies, but has occasional slips, such as, “We have to impeach him or he’ll be reelected.” (That spinning sound you hear is coming from our Founding Founders’ graves).  LCS Capo Gerry, Il Pinguino, Nadler took a shot at impeachment, claiming Mueller found Russian collusion and obstruction of justice.  Those lies didn’t work.  So LCS Boss Nancy, Senza Denti (try Google translate), Pelosi turned to Capo Adam, Faccia di Culo, Schiff (for brains) to pursue the Ukrainian phone call caper, which in keeping with LCS policy, is another tissue of lies.  A Squealer, in LCS parlance, a “Rat,” made false claims about Trump’s phone call with the Ukranian President.  The Rat’s lies fell apart when Trump released the actual transcript of the call.  Other problems were that Schiff (for brains) lied about the Rat’s background, his/her basis of knowledge, and about the fact that the Rat gave him advance notice of the complaint. Schiff then went on TV and even lied about what was in the transcript of the call.  So they enlisted a second Squealer, Rat #2, to “take care of that thing.” (The first thing, or the second thing?)  LCS claimed Rat #2 was a Republican with first-hand knowledge, but whoops, that was a lie too.  Rat #2 is a Democrat, attached to the campaign of one of the Democrats running for President, who retained a mob lawyer who has represented other LCS members, including Don Hillary, Chuck, Faccia di Cazzo, Schumer, and former Director of National Intelligence, James Clapper (more about him later).  The LCS gang is getting nervous though, because AG Bill Barr and US Attorney John Durham (think of them as the Tom Dewey and Elliot Ness of this saga), are actively investigating all the wrongdoing perpetrated by all the LCS members and associates who tried to fix the 2016 election.  The footsteps are getting closer, as Durham is expanding his probe to cover the crimes committed after the election.  They must be worried, because Comey, Rosenstein, Joseph Mifsud, Christopher Steele and Sally Yates have gone to the mattresses.  John Brennan and James Clapper are still lying their asses off on TV, but Clapper, who bears a strong resemblance to the aliens from Mars Attacks –

    

went on TV the other day and mistakenly uttered a little white truth, “apparently what we were supposed to have done was to ignore the Russian interference, ignore the Russian meddling and the threat that it poses to us, and oh, by the way, blow off what the then commander in chief, President Obama, told us to do …”  Uh oh, has Clapper admitted what we already knew?  Is Il Duce Obama the true Godfather of La Cosa Stupid?  Just when he thought he was out, they pulled him back in.